Holiday Horror: Don't Open Till Christmas

Happy Horrordays!

Shenanigans ensue when some random wackado is skulking about London, randomly murdering the crap out of anyone dressed as Santa.

Don’t Open Till Christmas is a 1984 British Horror movie from…a couple different directors. I’ll get into it later. It’s complicated. This movie took two years to complete, in part because they kept going through so many directors. Yet again, this is another movie that I couldn’t find much information about. I have the distinct feeling that the roughly five seconds of film outside Scotland Yard Headquarters took up a substantial part of the budget, though. Unless they just sort of leaned out the car window and popped smoke, if you follow me.

Still, the kills are pretty creative and the gore effects are probably slightly better than average for a 80s Slasher. One involving what looks to be a .44 Magnum revolver is a bit more…sanitary…than one might expect, but that’s okay. Also, apparently all the Mall Santas in 1980s London were filled with delicious strawberry jam. This movie has the dubious distinction of being the first (and last) movie to film at a place called The London Dungeon, a museum of medieval torture devices and such. Apparently, the folks that run the place saw the movie and said, ‘Yep. We’re never doing that again.’ Or something else appropriately British. They also do a pretty good job of hiding who the killer is, though I suspect that it was because the people making the movie didn’t know who it was until they got to the end.

Okay, it’s later now, so…*takes a deep breath*…Edmund Perdom was supposed to direct and star in the picture, however he ended up quitting or getting fired from the picture depending on who you talk to. So next they brought on a guy named Derek Ford. However, Ford got fired after two days for because he showed up on set drunk both those days. So then the distributors brought in a guy named Ray Selfe to finish out directing the movie. At the same time, they also hired another writer named Alan Birkinshaw to try and fix the script. So if the movie seems a little…inconsistent…now you know why.

If you’re looking for something a little different from the usual Killer Santa flick, you’ll probably enjoy this one.
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